What Do You Recommend for Marriage? by Casey Hancock

I think it was the first time we were asked to speak publicly about our marriage. Ruben, the pastor of the Eagles Church, called to ask if Teri and I would be willing to participate in an informal interview for the church’s sweetheart/Valentine’s dinner. The event was intended to be a fun, relaxed, outreach dinner for couples where everyone could come and enjoy. There were six new couples who had never attended anything related to the church. Several other couples came who rarely participated in the church’s activities and ministry. All in all, about half of the people present were church members.
They must have prayed for and prepared well for the event because it was very well received by the people in the community. Teri and I brought a guest as well. Our friend Gloria came to enjoy the evening with us.
Teri and I agreed to share our story. We told how we met, what we liked about each other, and described one of our first arguments. Ruben also asked us to give one recommendation to all of the couples who were there. So we each gave an answer to the question, “What do you recommend for marriage?”
Many of the difficulties we have faced in our marriage could have been avoided or at least made less difficult if I had taken a different attitude, one that did not insist on my own perspective or on my own wishes or desires. What can I say, I have always been strong willed? So I recommended that everyone consider the needs and wants of the other person more in the relationship. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is not self-seeking.
Teri’s recommendation was to be committed. She said that so many relationships fall apart because people lose interest or give up too quickly when things get tough. She told everyone at the dinner that she made a promise before God and our family and friends on our wedding day to be married to me and she still wants to be a woman of her word. The scriptures point out in James’ New Testament letter that we need to let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and our ‘no,’ ‘no’.
While Teri and I do not consider ourselves to be experts in marriage or even that we have the world’s best marriage (It has been good for us and we wouldn’t trade the last 18 years), we do love each other and we continue to invest in our marriage relationship and in our family. We consider it a privilege to share our testimony, especially if it can be of benefit to others and hopefully bring them closer to our Great God.
Please continue to pray for us, our ministry, and our marriage. Please pray also for the couples who enjoyed the sweetheart dinner at the Eagles Christian Church. Your prayers and partnership with us are a huge blessing and continue to be effective. Thank you.

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